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We just recently celebrated my son's 3rd birthday! Wow, it's crazy to think about how fast this time has gone by. Looking back on that day, I'm filled with joy and gratefulness. But not just because my first son was born. That was the day both of our lives were saved. It's a day I'll hold near and dear to my heart for more reasons than one. A day that cements a bond between my son and I that can't be put into words...
It Started Out Rough...
I had a rough pregnancy with my son. I say rough because my prior 2 pregnancies had been rather uneventful. At 10-weeks, the Dr. was unable to find his heartbeat, sending us into a mad frenzy. We would later find out that this was just a precursor to his very nature...sending mommy and daddy into a flagrant frenzy at any given moment.
We also found out early on that I had Placenta Previa. Placenta Previa is where the placenta lies lower in the uterus and either partially or completely covers the cervix. This can cause complications and usually results in being put on bed rest. Many times, if it's not resolved, it can result in the baby being born by cesarean. Thankfully, it corrected itself during my 3rd trimester.
Things Were Looking Up...
I went into labor 4 days past my due date, in the wee hours of the morning. My husband was working overnights at that point so I called him to let him know...It was time!
When we got to the hospital, the staff began monitoring my contractions and admitted me soon after. I was so excited because this was my first pregnancy where I was going into labor naturally! (I had to be induced with my two prior births.) I'd been praying for this moment the entire pregnancy. I wanted so badly to go into labor naturally and give birth to my baby unassisted. I was so happy things were going according to my hearts desire!
We were there less than 30 minutes before things took a drastic turn...
It's Amazing How Quickly Things Can Turn...
The nurses had noticed that they were having a hard time getting a reading on his heartrate. They had me switch sides and positions to see if that improved the connection but, after several failed attempts, they decided to insert a probe that would be attached to his head. This would allow them to monitor his heartrate. The nurse went in to break my water...
I don't remember much of what happened after this point. All I remember is the nurse yelling. She jumped on top of me and shoved her hand up inside of me. I was in extreme pain at this point so I don't recall what they were saying but a whole host of nurses flooded into my birthing room. They started wheeling me and the nurse (who was still on top of me) out. I recall hearing the OR room.
I remember looking for my husband and not being able to find him anywhere.
Did This Really Just Happen?
I was wheeled into a large cold room. There had to have been a good 15 people or more in there. I looked around. I must've been in shock. Everything was moving so fast. I knew at this point that I was about to have surgery. The nurse remained on top of me while the doctors prepped for surgery. The last thing I remember is a nurse standing over me with a mask on my face. She told me to breath deeply and when I woke up my baby would be here. It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it. The last thing I said before I went under was, "God, I know you will take care of us. I trust you."
I woke up some time later in a small, cold room. I assumed it was a recovery room. To say things were hazy would be an understatement. I was dazed and confused and the pain...oh the pain was...indescribable.
The doctor had explained to me that I had a prolapsed cord. Essentially, when the nurse broke my water, my sons umbilical cord began descending down the birth canal. It was being pinched off by his head which meant he wasn't getting the oxygen he needed.
When I was finally able to come to some sort of focus, I saw my husband standing next to me, holding our little bundle of joy. I was numb...
Is What I'm FeelingNormal Right Now?
My husband asked me if I wanted to hold him.
I just shook my head...and I burst into tears.
I can't describe what I was feeling in that moment because the truth is...I have no idea what I was feeling. All I know is that I was feeling an intense emotion that I was struggling to communicate. It could've been the heavy sedation or perhaps the extreme pain. I was most certainly still in shock....disbelief...
To this day I can't imagine not wanting to hold him. I don't think I'll ever understand my reasoning but I try not to be to hard on myself...I was traumatized...
It's An Unspeakable...Something...
When I finally did agree to hold him, all I could do was cry. I was immediately overcome with a barrage of emotions. I was, of course, enamored by this precious baby I held in my arms. I couldn't even make out his sweet little face through the pool of tears in my eyes but I could feel his warmth...his little heart beating strong...I was grateful he was alive.
This would be the perfect time to say I was filled with insurmountable joy. But, the truth is, I wasn't feeling joy in that moment. The pain suffocated any feeling of joy I may have been experiencing. I was grateful, yes, but I felt robbed. Robbed of that moment I cherished so much, when my eyes first meet theirs, that moment when we connect for the first time and everything else seizes to exist. Everything is at peace in that moment. But there was no peace...
The doctor would come in about every 10-20 minutes to push on my stomach. The pain was so excruciating all I could do was scream. I felt like I was dying. All I could think was, "Please, for the love of God, just knock me out!"
The Hospital Stay Was...Eventful...
We were in the hospital a total of 4 days and the majority of it is a blur to me now. I remember those 4 days being miserable for me. Not only had I just had a major surgery but I had a cold as well. I was so scared that I was going to get my newborn sick. I was, for all I knew, dying...with a cold...and I was struggling to breath because my nose was so congested.
Not to mention, I was hallucinating from the pain meds. I remember laying in bed...the baby was asleep and hubby was dozing in and out of an exhausted stupor. I looked over at the door and I kid you not there was dog food stacked from floor to ceiling. I don't even have a dog so...yeah...it made no sense why someone would bring a heap ton of dog food to MY room. I turned to my husband and was like "Who brought all this dog food in here?" He just kind of looked at me. It was in that moment I realized how ridiculous I sounded..."Never mind".
After that, the nursing staff began falling behind on my pain medication. I would wake up in excruciating pain. I didn't leave my bed at all the first day. By the second day, the staff insisted I try to go to the bathroom.
The nurse told me she couldn't help me walk to the bathroom...still not sure why that is...but thankfully my husband never left my side. He was able to help me. Getting up out of that bed was...indescribably torturous. I bawled all the way to the bathroom. By the time I reached the bathroom door, the pain was so bad that I blacked out.
Maybe I just have a low tolerance for pain but I can honestly say I have NEVER felt pain like that before in my life. Giving birth was a cake walk compared to what I was feeling in that moment.
Things Do Get Better...
By the 4th day, things had improved drastically. I was still in a good amount of pain but I was at least able to walk without passing out. Generally, I like to get out of the hospital as quickly as possible because I know we have our other kids waiting for us at home. But this time around, I seriously considered staying another day... I wanted to...I NEEDED to...but ultimately, we decided to go home.
A Blessing in Disguise
February 22, 2014 changed my life forever. I learned a lot about myself...my strengths...my weaknesses. It made me grateful for so many things...grateful that I serve the one true living God...grateful for life and the many blessing I have...grateful that my son's life was spared...grateful for a husband that has never left my side...grateful for the 3 kids I was told I'd never have...just grateful...blessed...
I never imagined I would ever have to have a cesarean. It was hard...it was scary. But Yah brought my son and I through it and I'm a stronger woman because of it.
If you're facing a cesarean or worried that you may have to have one, I want to encourage you. I'm not going to say it won't happen but I will tell you that...if you do...you can get through it. Know that Yah works all things together for the good of those who love Him. My emergency cesarean was worked together for my good...the spiritual benefit of going through this experience far outweighed the benefit of having my son MY way. Yah's ways are greater than my ways and ultimately...His way brought me closer to Him. Trust Him, no matter what your circumstances look like...
Until Next Time, Shalom!
Thank you for allowing me to share my experience with you. I hope you found it encouraging! If you enjoy encouraging words, take a moment to subscribe to my Good Word Newsletter for encouragement straight to your inbox! You will get a link to download my FREE scripture printable pack with sign up!
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Wow, first let me start off by saying that the last couple weeks have been C-Uh-RAYZYYY! It seems like I have had so much going on that I haven't even had time to stop and think. We have been busy, but the reality is that I have felt like...well, crap for lack of a better word.
I mean, I literally feel like I've been hit by a truck! It started a couple weeks ago. Out of no where I started sweating profusely...even when I was cold! I'm talking dripping sweat. Which is extremely unusual for me because I'm usually always cold and don't really sweat much. As my husband puts it, I keep it "a couple degrees above hell" in the house.
So, I'm sweating, I'm not eating, and I can't sleep. And as I mentioned, my body feels like it was run over by a truck, then put in reverse and run over again. What is going on with me?!
That's right...Hubby and I found out we are expecting baby #5! And yes you read that right, baby #5! We are absolutely elated and super stoked about our new addition!
So, for any of you who have been wondering what I've been up to. That's it. I haven't done...anything in the past 3-4 weeks. I've basically been living in my robe for the past month and getting by with the absolute bare necessities.
Now that I am 9 weeks, my symptoms have definitely calmed down and I'm starting to feel somewhat human enough to rejoin society. I actually did my hair the other day, got dressed, and left the house! Yahoo! (It was a big win for me)
For the time being, I'm working on restoring order to my home after my impromptu hiatus.
A huge shout out to my hubby for picking up my slack the past couple weeks. You are wonderful!
I am really excited to be sharing this season with you guys and I'm looking forward to seeing what the Father has in store for us. I know we have some big changes coming our way before the baby comes in September. So, please keep us in your prayers!
If you are interested in receiving updates on our little blessing and joining us on this journey be sure to subscribe below!
Until next time, blessing to you and yours!
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James 4:8 says "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you." Typically, when we think of drawing near to God, we think of reading our Bibles, praying, doing devotionals, and the like. These things are important in our walk with God. But I started thinking of other ways to draw near to God. I wanted to step outside of the box and learn to enjoy God's presence in areas where I may not typically think to. I want to acknowledge His presence in everything I do. So, here are 5 "unconventional" ways that we can draw near to God. And don't forget to stick around to the end for a free printable!
"If anyone thinks that he knows somewhat, he does not yet know as he should know." 1 Corinthians 8:2
Take on a Leadership Position
"Whoever heeds instruction is on the path to life, but he who rejects reproof leads others astray." Proverbs 10:17
Leadership may not be your thing long term, but at least you walk away with a greater appreciation for those who are called to leadership and a better understanding of what it means to truly be a leader. Plus when you allow the Father to renew your mind, heart, and body, you walk out a better person than you were when you walked in!
Start a Garden
"For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently." Romans 8:24-25
"On the glorious splendor of Your majesty and on Your wonderful works, I will meditate." Psalm 145:5
Turn Off Your Electronics!
The first is because our society's, shall I say, "addiction" with technology is becoming a major distraction. And if we don't control it, it WILL control us. It is distracting us from the things that truly matter. Family...friends...and especially God. It is very difficult to hear His voice when we are distracted. We have to cut down on the distractions in order to hear Him clearly. Does this mean unplugging for good? In most cases, no. But it does mean having a healthy balance. Which leads me to reason 2.
We have to make sure that our priorities are in order. God should always be your first priority. Sadly, He is more often than not inconveniently "squeezed" in. This should not be so. If your electronics are getting more attention than God and your family, you may want to reevaluate your priorities. Because the truth is, the entire technelogical world could come crashing down tomorrow. Would you survive? Are you prepared to survive a world unplugged? If the answer is no...well...that is a scary place to be in.
"In everything you do, put God first, and He will direct you and crown your efforts with success." Proverbs 3:6
I don't want to take that for granted. God deserves all of me and He deserves my very best. Everything else is just a fringe benefit of His unconditional love. So, in an effort to make God my first priority, I will be scheduling in my electronics...not scheduling in God!
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Thank you for stopping by and spending a few moments with me.
Until Next Time, Blessings to You and Yours,
If you are trying for a V.B.A.C. and are looking for some encouragement, feel free to contact me! I look forward to hearing from you!
Until next time, blessings to you and yours,
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Unfortunately, not everyone was as enthusiastic as we were. There are a lot of misconceptions that people have about homeschooling. I will cover 3 major myths and why they didn't hold any water in our decision to homeschool our children.
It has been 10+ years since my husband and I have been in school. We both remember all too well what school was like back when we were children. We also remember being exposed to things WAY sooner than we should have been.
Unfortunately, things have only gotten worse in the 10-15 years since we have been in school. Our children are being exposed to thing much earlier now...and not just by their peers! This is something we work diligently to protect our children from. Many people will argue that we are sheltering our children from the real world...
Do not be deceived: Bad company ruins good morals.
1 Corinthians 15:33
The educational system has become an advocate for sin and the immoral indoctrination of our children under the guise of being "politically correct". In other words, our children are being forced to accept things that are abominable in God's sight to avoid "offending" people.
Don't let anyone capture you with empty philosophies and high-sounding nonsense that come from human thinking and from the spiritual powers of this world, rather than from Christ.
Colossians 2:8 (NLT)
It is no coincidence that they can take God out of schools to avoid "offending" people and yet, openly opposing transgenderism or homosexuality could quickly land you on America's top terrorist list.
Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter! Isaiah 5:20
As believers, there is no wisdom in delegating the education and training of our children to a perverse society. And now they are deliberately bringing satan into schools. Educatin with satan?...I rest my case.
Consider this, "proper education" or "adequate education" are relative terms. Determining what is proper or adequate in this case has been delegated to man BY man. The only thing that is absolute are the parameters sanctioned by God.
Unfortunately, people have been deceived into thinking that you have to have a degree to teach your own child. Don't get me wrong, I have the utmost respect for teachers. I mean the time and commitment it takes...that's no easy feat. But for some reason lacking credentials has become a sort of social stigma, as though the absence of credentials equates a lack of intelligence.
The Truth: God's word equips me with everything I need to be a successful educator.
Do not deceive yourselves. If any of you think you are wise by the standards of this age, you should become "fools" so that you may become wise. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God's sight.
1 Corinthians 3:18-19 (NIV)
And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. Deuteronomy 6:6-7
This is also commonly referred to as socialization. Many people feel that children that are homeschooled will lack basic social skills like being able to talk to people, developing relationships, developing self-identity, or understanding healthy competition.
My Husband and I are very selective about the people and places that we expose our children to. Why? Because putting them before the wrong people or forcing them into the wrong environment will inevitably subject them to things they are not yet prepared to handle. Granted, they will have to face the world at some point but not before we develop and prepare them.
Now is the time, before their little hearts and minds are tainted, to prepare and strengthen our children in the knowledge and might of the Father. We must prepare them for the battles they face in today's society.
Be sober, watch, because your enemy the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8
The Truth: Guidelines for our children's social development will not be delegated to a society that lacks moral standards.
The Bottom Line
Thank you for taking the time to stop by and for allowing me to share my passions with you!
Until next time, Blessing to you and yours,
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